Article

“I feel like I’m behind. Everyone else has it figured out. What am I even doing with my life?” 
Sound familiar? 

If you’re somewhere between 20 and 30, sipping your third iced coffee while scrolling job boards (or questioning if grad school is a cosmic scam), you’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not lost. 

You’re just in the middle of a full-blown brain renovation. 

And yes—it’s as dramatic as it sounds. 

The Myth of “Figure It Out by 25” 

Social media highlight reels, LinkedIn glow-ups, and TEDx-talking 22-year-olds have created a false timeline for success and self-awareness. There’s this unspoken pressure to have it all locked in: the dream job, the soulmate, the skincare routine. 

But here’s the real deal -  

• Your brain isn’t even done developing until your late 20s. 

• The prefrontal cortex (the part that controls identity, impulse regulation, and long-term planning) is still under construction. 

• That emotional ping-pong match in your head? That’s not failure—it’s called Emerging Adulthood, and it’s totally normal. 

Let us understand what Is “Emerging Adulthood” anyway. Coined by psychologist Jeffrey Arnett, Emerging Adulthood is the developmental in-between stage from about 18 to 29. It’s a phase defined by: 

• Identity exploration 

• Instability (yes, switching 7 jobs in 3 years is part of it) 

• Self-focus 

• Feeling “in-between” 

• A sense of endless possibility (and occasional dread) 

You’re not falling apart—you’re being reassembled. From the inside out!  

Let’s get geeky for a second. Your 20s are one of the last major periods of neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to form new neural connections. This means your brain is actively asking: 

• Who do I want to be? 

• What kind of life am I building? 

• What beliefs or habits need to go? 

Those existential spirals at 2 a.m.? The job-hopping? The feeling that you’re floating in limbo? 
It’s your neural pathways updating themselves. 

Instead of calling it a crisis...  What if you called it a brain reboot?

You can’t fast-forward through this phase—but you can navigate it with purpose. Here’s how: 

1. Don’t Rush Clarity – Create It 

Waiting to “feel ready” is a trap. Clarity doesn’t come from overthinking—it comes from doing. 
Try this: 

• Intern somewhere weird 

• Freelance for a month 

• Join a local improv group 

• Launch that side hustle –  

Test, fail, learn, repeat. That’s the formula! 

2. Map Your Inner GPS 

Before you obsess over the “right” path, define what matters to you.

Tools to try: 

• Journaling prompts like: “When do I feel most alive?” 

• Values card sorts 

• Coaching or therapy? 

It’s not about a 10-year plan—it’s about your next meaningful step. 

3. Ditch Linear Thinking 

Careers aren’t ladders anymore—they’re jungles. 
You might move laterally, diagonally, or even back before forward. That’s not failure. That’s growth in motion. 

How to Rewire Your Brain (Literally) 

You don’t just “grow up” by waiting. You grow by rewiring your habits, thoughts, and actions. Here's how neuroplasticity and dopamine help you sculpt a new reality: 

What’s Happening: 

• Every time you learn a new skill, build a habit, or change your mindset, your brain forms new neural pathways. 

• Dopamine helps reinforce those paths by rewarding actions that move you forward. 

 Actionable Strategies: 

1. Start Small, Win Big

Tiny habits beat lofty goals.  

Want to read more? Start with one page. Want to exercise? Try 5 minutes. 
Small wins = dopamine hits = habit momentum. 

2. Stack Your Habits

Link a new habit to something you already do. 
Example: “After I make my coffee, I’ll write down one intention for the day.” 

3. Make It Obvious, Make It Easy

Design your space for success. 

• Gym clothes out the night before 

• Healthy snacks visible 

• Phone in another room during deep work 

4. Reward Progress (Strategically) 

Add a feel-good cherry on top of every good habit. 

Celebrate with music, a post-it cheer note, or a post-coffee walk. 

5. Visualize to Prime Your Brain 

Close your eyes and see yourself taking the action. This lights up similar neural pathways as doing the thing for real. 

6. Progress Over Perfection 

Habit change is messy. Missed a day? That’s data, not defeat. Just return to the loop. 

Final Take: You’re Not Behind. You’re Becoming. 

This chaos? This questioning, doubting, trial-and-error season? 

It’s not a failure to launch. It’s not a crisis of character. 

It’s a reboot. A rewire. A metamorphosis. 

Your brain is literally sculpting the adult you’re becoming. And that takes time, experimentation, and yes—a little chaos. 

So the next time you think “I should have it all figured out by now”, remember: 

You’re not broken. You’re building. 

It’s Your Turn now!!!

What part of your quarter-life chaos are you embracing? 
What new habit, mindset, or experiment are you trying this week? 

Drop it in the comments. Let’s normalize the mess—and celebrate the rewiring. 

Let me help you see clarity through this chaos. Reach me on https://linktr.ee/balavikasa  

About the Author

Dr. Nagamani Krishnamurthy is an educator who started her journey as a chemistry teacher 34 years ago. Since then, she moved on to become a teacher, trainer, coach, researcher, and early childhood educator but at every stage, she retained the underpinning principle of education as a process of nurturing children's EQ and empowering them to be equipped with skills to deal with challenges at every stage of life. She has designed a unique early years curriculum strategy Balavikasa's L.E.A.D. which weaves human values and 21st century skills into child development.

Her passion for creating bespoke teaching strategies has inspired her to design many courses for children at different stages catering to their individual needs and learning styles. She is the founder of Balavikasa Educational Academy where she conducts training programs for children, young people, parents, and teachers. She strongly believes that every child has the potential to excel and every teacher has the power to bring out this excellence in every child.