Article

We hear it all the time—"Take care of your mental health!" "Self-love is important!" But between work, family, and the million other things on our plates, what does that actually look like? How do we practice it in a way that feels real, not like another thing on the to-do list? 

The truth is, self-care isn’t just about bubble baths or yoga (though if that helps, go for it!). It’s about knowing what fills you up and what drains you—and learning to choose the things that nourish you instead. 

Let’s break it down into three parts: your mind, body, and soul. Because when you take care of all three – you feel truly nourished. 

1. Nourishing Your Mind: How Do You Talk to Yourself? 

Imagine if you spoke to your best friend the way you speak to yourself. Would they feel supported? Or would they shrink under the weight of your words? 

Self-talk is powerful. It shapes how we see ourselves and the world. So, let’s check in: 

• Are you kind to yourself, or do you tear yourself down over small mistakes? 

• Do you call yourself names when you mess up? 

• Do your words make you feel stronger or smaller? 

It’s okay if your inner voice hasn’t been the friendliest—most of us pick up self-criticism without even realizing it. But here’s the good news: you can change the conversation and here’s how - 

When you catch yourself spiralling into self-criticism, pause. Take a moment to observe your dialogue and, gently challenge it. 

Instead of: "I’m so stupid. This is so embarrassing." 
Try: "I don’t like what just happened. Let’s take a breath. What went wrong? Did something trigger me? This doesn’t make me a bad person." 

Before you label yourself as stupid, a failure, or not good enough, take a step back and ask—where is this coming from? Is this a pattern? What would I say to a friend in this situation? For a deeper understanding, Brené Brown’s work on shame and guilt can be helpful. She explains that shame says, "I am bad," while guilt says, "I did something bad." The difference matters—because guilt can help us grow, but shame only pulls us down. 

2. Nourishing Your Body: Work With Your Body, Not Against It 

Have you ever tried to push through exhaustion only to feel even worse? Or wondered why one week you’re full of energy and the next, you can barely keep up? 

Here’s something that’s rarely talked about: most research on fasting, exercise, and productivity is based on men’s bodies. But women’s bodies work on a different rhythm. 

• Men have a 24-hour hormone cycle, resetting daily. 

• Women have a 28-day cycle, meaning energy, mood, and even metabolism fluctuate. 

There will be days when you feel absolutely invincible. On certain days, taking a break is the most beneficial choice you can make. Both options are valid. Resisting your natural flow ultimately results in exhaustion. Tuning with your body is your power. 

Your body goes through different phases each month, and understanding them can help you work with yourself instead of against yourself: 

• Menstruation (Days 1-5): Energy is lower, and your body needs extra rest. You might prefer gentler movement like yoga or walking. 

• Follicular Phase (Days 6-14): The phase right after your period. Estrogen rises, bringing increased energy, focus, and stamina—great for deep work, strength training, or new projects. 

• Ovulation (Around Day 14-16): You may feel the most confident, social, and energetic. This is a great time for collaborative work, high-intensity workouts, or tackling challenges. 

• Luteal Phase (Days 17-28): Progesterone rises, and energy starts to dip. You might feel bloated, crave certain foods, or need more downtime. This is a good phase for self-care, reflection, and lighter tasks. 

The phases and days mentioned above are general examples. Every woman’s cycle is unique, and the length or intensity of each phase may vary. This is especially true for women who are pregnant, postpartum, or going through menopause, as their hormonal shifts bring different rhythms and energy patterns. 

Where you are in life and how your body is at the moment matters—listening to it is key, both for your physical and mental health. Our bodies and minds are deeply connected. For example, when we’re starving, we get hangry (hunger-induced irritability) or how lack of sleep can make us cranky or more sensitive. Hormones can also influence our mood in ways we might not even realize. Understanding these connections can help you work with your body instead of against it, making space for more balance and well-being. 

Instead of forcing yourself into rigid routines that weren’t made for you, try asking: 

• What does my body need today? More movement? More rest? More nourishing food? 

• How can I adjust my workload and self-care based on where I am in my cycle? 

Because every woman’s body is unique, the key is to observe your patterns and customize your lifestyle to fit you—not the other way around. When you stop fighting yourself and start working with yourself, everything changes. 

3. Nourishing Your Soul: What Feeds You vs. What Drains You? 

Your soul is what makes you feel like you. It’s that deep-down part of you that either feels full and peaceful or exhausted and empty. 

So let’s check in: 

• What makes you feel at peace? Take a moment to notice what brings you a sense of calm and fulfilment. It could be a walk in nature, a quiet prayer, listening to music, moving your body with yoga or exercise, or simply enjoying some time alone.  

• What drains you? Sometimes, it’s the little things that wear you down—a conversation with someone who constantly complains, skipping breaks at work, not getting enough rest, or feeling off due to hormonal shifts or illness. When these small stressors pile up unchecked, they can leave you feeling exhausted, irritable, or overwhelmed. 

Your soul doesn’t need grand gestures. It just needs consistent little moments of nourishment. 

Maybe it’s stepping outside for five minutes. Maybe it’s journaling, or saying no to things that don’t feel good. Whatever it is, honour your commitment to nourishing your soul. 

A final thought 

Being attentive is more important than being flawless when it comes to taking care of your mind, body, and soul. It means knowing your needs and making decisions that drive you towards wellbeing. Don't attempt to make all the changes at once since this is the hardest thing a person can do. Consider starting small, it will set you up for success because these small actions done daily become lasting changes. It could be as small as a self-compliment, working out for just ten minutes, or just letting yourself take a break guilt-free today. What is that one small thing you would like to do today?

About the Author

Aadhyathmika Reddy is a psychologist with 3+ years of experience she has collective experience working as an Intern, Special Educator, Global Volunteer, and Consultant Psychologist in multiple organizations, having taken over 1000+ therapy sessions. She has worked with clients of all ages - helping them in managing a wide range of mental health concerns.