The world we live in today: You can receive 100 likes from friends on a social media post, but not find even one friend who’ll stand by you when you truly need them.
As part of Generation X, I can say with confidence that we grew up in an environment where praise wasn't freely given. It wasn’t common to earn kind words from a parent, teacher, or manager — and it certainly wasn’t easy. In fact, for many of us, not being reprimanded was considered a form of approval. Parenting was often harsh, and recognition was rare.
Now, as Gen X and Y step into parenting roles, many of us feel the urge to offer what we missed out on — encouragement, validation, acknowledgement. But in trying to fill that gap, we may have gone too far.Today, children are applauded for the most basic expectations. In classrooms, stars are awarded for simply sitting quietly or writing neatly. Over time, this constant reinforcement has led to a sense of entitlement. At home, time-starved parents often compensate with material gifts. Rewards have become symbolic of success: a new phone for securing top rank, a bike for clearing an exam. Somewhere along the way, the lines between acknowledgement, attention, and indulgence have blurred.
Teenagers now thrive on superficial compliments and feel unsettled if not constantly validated. The social media “like” culture is baffling. I once saw a child mindlessly liking every post from a friend — when asked why, he said, “It helps him get more likes and followers.” That’s the world we’re navigating.
In the corporate space too, this desire for constant feedback has reached strange extremes. I once raised a service request via chatbot — not even a person — and was still prompted to rate the interaction. Transport and delivery services routinely seek ratings for simply doing their job. On one bus ride, passengers were given free earphones, but only until the app received a high enough rating. Then the freebies stopped. Is that what genuine feedback looks like?
Meanwhile, in professional settings, people are wary of offering even a few good words. Managers and clients often hold back, fearing their words may trigger expectations — a raise, a price hike, or added benefits. So where does that leave us? What does meaningful recognition even look like anymore?
I believe the answer lies somewhere between the no-nonsense past and today’s over-the-top affirmations. What we need is genuine expression — heartfelt and thoughtful — offered without agenda and received with grace. Constant praise doesn’t always mean you’re doing well. And for those offering it, take a moment to reflect: Has this person truly earned it? If yes, speak with intention and warmth.
In teacher training, we often promote the 3S model when encouraging students: Specific – Focus on the task or effort, not just the individual. Sincere – Say what you truly feel.Sparse – Use it meaningfully, not excessively. Let your words matter. Let them uplift, not inflate. When used rightly, even a few thoughtful words can inspire lasting impact.
Businesses that genuinely care about their customers will deliver mindful service, not just mechanical outcomes. Similarly, when parents and teachers approach encouragement as a tool for character-building rather than just feel-good moments, it creates deeper, more lasting value in children.
True recognition — when intentional and well-deserved — has the power to transform. Not through volume, but through meaning
About the Author
Ms. Jyotsna, Co-Founder of Mentorbee, is an educationist with over 21 years of experience in curriculum design, teacher training, and student skill development. Mentorbee, under her leadership, supports 15 educational institutions and has received multiple accolades, including the Best Startup Award at Kovai Vizha Startup Pitch 2024 and recognition at TIE Women Coimbatore and Brookefields Women Entrepreneur Spotlight 2025. With an MBA, B.Ed. in Special Education, and a PG Diploma in Education Administration, she is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Competency Skill Mapping for Primary School Teachers. She has published two articles under UGC care journals about teachers skill and training needs for teachers. From starting as a preschool teacher to managing a successful preschool franchise and later serving as Regional Head at Xseed Education, she has impacted 250+ schools and trained over 15,000 teachers, continuing her mission to innovate education through Mentorbee
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