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When our stomach growls, we respond without guilt. We plan meals, hydrate, and rest because we understand that our physical needs matter. But what about our emotional needs? When our heart aches or our mind spirals, we often ignore it, suppress it, or expect someone else to fix it. 

Emotional hunger is the internal craving for connection, understanding, validation, comfort, or calm. It’s not as noticeable and easier to overlook but its impact on our well-being is just as significant. 

What Is Emotional Hunger? 

Emotional hunger is the body’s way of saying: “Something inside me needs care.” It can appear as irritability, restlessness, numbness, or a compulsion to stay busy. We might seek comfort in distractions like food, screens, overworking, or relationships. These things are bad, but because our emotional needs are supressed, ignored, or numbed out they aren’t really addressed. 

How Aware Are You Of Your Emotions? 

Emotional awareness is the ability to notice, name, and understand your feelings. You don’t need to know everything, but you do need to be honest with yourself. Emotional awareness is a skill that can be learnt and developed. 

Feeling more than one emotion at a time is normal. 

• One of the most misunderstood aspects of emotions is that they don’t occur in isolation. We can feel love and anger toward someone at the same time. We can grieve a loss and still feel relief. We can be proud of a decision and sad about what it cost us. 

• Remember that scene in the movie Inside Out, where Joy and Sadness both hold the memory of Riley’s championship win — she was happy to have played well, but sad that her parents weren’t there to see it? That is emotional complexity — and it’s normal. 

• Instead of trying to force yourself to feel only one emotion (“I shouldn’t be feeling this way”), allow yourself to say, “I’m feeling hurt and I still care.” Emotional maturity often looks like holding space for contradictions. 

What To Do After Emotional Awareness? 

Becoming aware of our emotions is the first step—just like how we notice the cues of physical hunger. Maybe our stomach growls, we feel lightheaded, or we just know it’s time to eat. Emotional awareness works the same way. You might feel tightness in your chest, a lump in your throat, or a wave of irritation or sadness. These are signal that your inner world is asking for attention. Once we recognize that emotions are rising, the question becomes: What do I do with this information?  

Here are a few helpful steps you can take when emotions show up: 

Validate the Feeling 

Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.” Validation reduces internal conflict and helps your nervous system settle. 

Pause and Name It 

Take a breath. Try to identify the emotion. Is it anger? Sadness? Shame? Joy mixed with fear? It’s normal to feel more than one thing at a time—like loving someone and being angry with them, or feeling both hurt and happy. 

Soothing Instead Of Suppressing   

Soothe your system using grounding techniques like: 

• Taking slow, deep breaths 

• Drinking a glass of water mindfully 

• Taking a short walk without distractions 

• Placing a hand over your heart and saying, “I’m here with you” 

These small acts remind your body that you’re safe. They reduce emotional escalation and create space to respond instead of react. 

Recognize Emotional Triggers 

Triggers are external or internal cues that intensify emotional responses. They may come from: 

• A tone of voice that reminds you of criticism 

• Deadlines that reactivate past failure 

• Feeling ignored or dismissed 

How to Identify Triggers:

• Notice when your emotional reaction feels “bigger” than the situation 

• Reflect on patterns: When do you often feel overwhelmed, angry, or invisible? 

• Track what happened before your reaction (who was involved, what was said, what memory surfaced – physically or emotionally) 

Understanding your triggers gives you a chance to intervene — not to blame yourself, but to support yourself. 

Trial and Error Of Finding What Actually Works for You 

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for emotional care. 

You may need to experiment: 

• Does journaling help? Or is talking aloud more effective? 

• Does a solo walk clear your mind? Or do you feel better after social time? 

• Do certain distractions leave you feeling worse, while others restore you? 

Ask: 

• Was this helpful long-term or just a quick fix? 

• Did I feel more grounded after this, or more disconnected? 

• Am I solving the surface problem or avoiding the deeper issue? 

This process requires honesty, patience, and flexibility. You are not “failing” if a tool doesn’t work for you. You’re learning. 

What To Do When The Issue Feels Deeper? 

Sometimes our emotional reactions are layered. Behind the anger is fear. Behind the disconnection is grief. Uncovering these deeper patterns is often rooted in past experiences, trauma, or unmet childhood needs that can be time-consuming and emotionally complex. 

If you find yourself circling the same emotional cycles, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions you can’t name or soothe, it may be time to seek professional support. 

A therapist can help: 

• Uncover and understand emotional patterns 

• Develop personalized coping strategies 

• Process difficult past experiences with safety and support 

• Build long-term emotional resilience 

Conclusion 

Emotional hunger is not weakness. It’s a sign of being human. Just as we respond to physical hunger with food and care, we must respond to emotional hunger with awareness, compassion, and tools that truly nourish us and not just momentarily soothe us. You don’t need to wait for emotional exhaustion to take action. Start small. Check in with yourself. Practice emotional awareness. Experiment with what works. And if needed, reach out as healing doesn’t have to be a solo process. 

References 

• Bagby, R. M., Parker, J. D. A., & Taylor, G. J. (1994). The twenty-item Toronto Alexithymia Scale—I. Item selection and cross-validation of the factor structure. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 38(1), 23–32. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-3999(94)90005-1 

• Keltner, D., & Lerner, J. S. (2010). Emotion. In S. T. Fiske, D. T. Gilbert, & G. Lindzey (Eds.), Handbook of Social Psychology (5th ed., Vol. 1, pp. 317–352). Wiley. 

• Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT® skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. 

• Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9(3), 185–211. https://doi.org/10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG

About the Author

Aadhyathmika Reddy is a psychologist with 3+ years of experience. She has collective experience working as an Intern, Special Educator, Global Volunteer, and Consultant Psychologist in multiple organizations having taken over 1000+ therapy sessions. She has worked with clients of all ages – helping them in managing a wide range of mental health concerns.