Many of us often do this to ourselves thinking we don't deserve it or we are not right on some pretext of staying humble. So what did we do? - belittling ourselves! All of us are made differently. We are not created to be alike. Be it our working styles, passion, our attitude, our vision, the way we approach things - all are unique for each of us.
No two people can approach a problem the same way. When that happens one person rises to the occasion saying they were able to handle it right away and the other one might still find a solution but through a different approach. But remember, your way of approaching an issue is right from your perspective because that's what you are meant to do, doing it your own way! Don't end up comparing you with someone else thinking you can never be right. You are right in your own way.
So this word belittle - what does this exactly mean? - Making someone feel small and not worthy, downplaying their achievements,insulting them or often being criticized. Imagine you doing all this to yourself ! Not looking good right - then stop doing it to yourself ! We already have enough going around us and adding self torture to that list is not the need of the hour :)
When you know you have achieved something,small or big, don't let it slip away even when others don’t acknowledge it.Treat yourself for your success, it is yours to be celebrated. Similarly, if your nature is being kind, be kind anyways. Don't change that when someone tells you that you are foolish to act that way. And if your nature is helping others, do it anyway. Don’t get into a place where you think your actions are insignificant. Don’t downplay yourself, you are doing something others think multiple times to even attempt.
Belittling ourselves can lead to lack of self confidence. We think so less of us that we stop valuing us. Someone else putting us down is one thing but we doing it to ourselves hits differently. Do not over think your nature, you are doing just fine! If you know your actions are not hurting anyone then keep doing it.
Where and how does this start? - Fear of being judged is one of the main reasons. The insecurity of being rejected can also result in belittling ourselves. The main question of “What if?” keeps popping up in our heads that we end up thinking downplaying ourselves will spare us the moment of shame and rejection. We start to put ourselves down in front of others so we can escape the moment for the time being.
How do we get out of this? - First and the most important thing to do is to stop bringing that “What if” question to everything we do. What if people judge me? What if I end up looking like a fool? What if I get rejected right on my face? I would say, so what? If others end up judging, rejecting or making fun of us, it's about them and not us. If you know it is the right thing to do, do it anyway. Do not let your fear overtake your confidence. Don’t lose your beautiful self for fear of failure.
Another major issue is comparing yourself to people around you.Thoughts come into our minds , saying they are smart, they are so put together, they are brave, beautiful and bold. But we do not know their side of the story. Maybe they had to rise up to the occasion themselves. Comparison won't take us anywhere, so stop it then and there and look into yourself.
You are created to be unique and you already have what you need to be the best. You are already smart, strong and rich with values that are unique to you. Start putting all that into practice, don't go into hiding when you are put in a place to make a decision. Take that first step with confidence and make a choice. Believe in yourself more because no one can make the right choice for you better than you. And most important of all, keep your head high and own your decision.
Be positive about yourself and know your worth. When you value you, there comes the breaking point. Stop doubting yourself and focus on your strengths. Don’t indulge with people who put you down or make you feel small. Have confidence in yourself. Remind yourself of how far you have come and all the good things that have happened because of your decisions. Finally, stop looking for perfection, you are not going to find it anywhere.
Being you is the best possible way of becoming alive to our surroundings. We deserve respect and we deserve to be valued. Stand up for yourself and trust your instincts. Someone once said, “You are priceless, don’t ever belittle yourself”. So stop doing it and live life because you are so powerful and bigger than your fears!!
About the Author
Shalini Solomon comes with close to 15 years of industry experience in the Human Resources space. She is currently designated as Head - People and Values with Kazh Fintech Private Limited. She likes to interact with people and makes sure they have the space to grow and learn and are free to work without any pressure. People first is always her approach. She holds an Engineering degree in Computer Science.