Narcissism is a little like the dark magic Voldemort used in Harry Potter, it’s insidious, powerful, and often seems unbeatable. But here’s the twist: sometimes, the best defence isn’t total avoidance but a kind of “vaccination,” taking a little bit of what makes the darkness strong and mixing it with our best qualities to create immunity. And perhaps no story captures this balance better than the connection between Harry and Voldemort (The characters of Harry and Voldemort is created by J.K. Rowling in the wonderful series of book “Harry Potter”)
For those who aren't familiar with Harry Potter, let me quickly set the stage. Harry Potter, though small and seemingly ordinary, is forced to face Voldemort, a powerful and evil figure driven by a strong, toxic personality. Voldemort seeks to dominate the world and destroy anyone who stands in his way, including Harry.
It’s to be observed that, Harry and Voldemort shared uncanny similarities. Both could speak Parseltongue, the rare language of snakes. Both were chosen by wands made from the feathers of the same magical phoenix. And when the Sorting Hat hesitated over Harry’s house, it seriously considered placing him in Slytherin, the house known for ambition, cunning, and qualities we sometimes associate with self-interest or even narcissism. Isn’t it interesting that the only person who could defeat Voldemort was someone who shared similar qualities with him?
If Harry and Voldemort were truly alike in every way, they would have joined forces, perhaps even ruled together. But that’s not what happened, while Voldemort used these traits to fuel his obsession with power and control, Harry’s path was entirely different. What made Harry strong, what ultimately allowed him to defeat Voldemort, was that he took some of those very same qualities but blended them with the love, friendship, and compassion which Voldemort totally lacked. The hat wanted Harry in Slytherin, not because he was destined for darkness, but because Harry was resilient, resourceful, and capable of achieving great things. However, Harry’s heart, filled with love and a fierce loyalty to his friends, protected him from falling into the same traps as Voldemort.
In our lives, narcissism can feel like a force as dark and daunting as Voldemort’s power. It’s overwhelming, it manipulates, and it can consume our sense of peace. But what if, like Harry, we could take the powerful qualities that fuel narcissism like confidence, boundaries, and ambition and infuse them with love, empathy, and genuine connection? Just as Harry learned to confront his similarities to Voldemort without losing himself, we can face narcissism by embracing its positive traits in a way that serves us, not controls us.
Narcissistic Person (what we like to call as ‘N-Person’)
A narcissistic person (N-Person) is defined by an exaggerated sense of self-importance and an insatiable need for entitlement. They believe their needs, desires, and experiences are inherently more valuable and deserving of attention than those of others. This core belief in their specialness shapes how they interact with the world, and they will go to great lengths to have their superiority validated.
Dealing with a narcissistic person can often feel impossible. Their exaggerated sense of entitlement and self-importance can make every interaction feel like a battle. They approach the world in two ways: through a grandiose theme, where they project an image of unreasonable superiority, dominance, wealth, and authority and through a vulnerable theme, where their fragile ego drives them to rage, gaslighting, manipulation, and hypersensitivity whenever they feel slighted or challenged. In both cases, their core need is the same: to feel special and above everyone else. This often makes it seem like they are an unshakable force, impossible to reason with or change. However, despite the overwhelming nature of their behaviour, there is a silver lining, the vaccination.
The Silver Lining Around the Dark Clouds of Narcissism: “NarVaxin” an Emotional Vaccination against Narcissism:
Just as a vaccine uses a controlled amount of a virus to build immunity, we too can protect ourselves from the toxic effects of narcissism by embracing a combination of love, self-respect, emotional intelligence, and strength. This, what we coined as "NarVaxin" can help us navigate the challenges posed by narcissistic individuals while safeguarding our well-being.
When faced with something as draining as narcissism, it might be helpful to look at it like an illness. But instead of viewing narcissism as a virus that can only cause harm, let’s reframe our approach. Imagine if we could create an emotional “vaccination” against narcissism—something that could protect us from the harmful effects, while also giving us something valuable in return.
Vaccines work by using a small, harmless amount of the virus to build immunity. Applying this concept to narcissism, we can “borrow” a few key elements from narcissistic traits, but with a twist. Instead of adopting self-centred or hurtful behaviour, we focus on self-confidence, healthy boundaries, and assertiveness in healthy doses, paired with love and compassion. This way, we’re empowered without turning to the darker side of narcissism.
Bringing back the world of Harry Potter, remember, the only person who could defeat Voldemort (N-Person) was someone who shared similar qualities with him. Strange but true
Harry could have been easily overwhelmed by his similarities to Voldemort, but his core winning difference was love, empathy, and support. That gave him the strength to overcome even the darkest of forces. When dealing with a Narcissistic person (N-person), it’s essential to adopt a similar approach, face the traits that make them powerful with a balanced mix of your own strengths, but always grounded in love, compassion, and wisdom. So, let’s get the dose of NarVaxin an emotional Vaccination.
This blend forms a powerful shield that can protect you from the overwhelming power of the N-person, without resorting to the same toxic behaviour.
Here’s How You Can get the dose of NarVaxin - Face the Narcissist and Keep Your Ground:
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Display a Bit of Anger, but Controlled: Learn assertiveness: Anger is a natural response, but letting it explode uncontrollably only feeds into the N-person’s manipulation. Instead, use your anger in a controlled way. It shows that you won’t tolerate disrespect, but you won’t allow yourself to be consumed by it either. Learn to walk away and learn to be assertive.
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Be absolutely Confident: Narcissists thrive on making others feel inferior, but when you stand firm in your confidence, they can’t easily overpower you. Know your worth and project your strength so that they can't make you feel small or unworthy.
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Be Smart and Cunning: Narcissists often use psychological manipulation, like gaslighting, to confuse or destabilize you. By sharpening your emotional intelligence and understanding their tactics, you can protect yourself and avoid falling into their traps.
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Have a Whole Lot of Self-Love: Narcissists often lack empathy and can’t provide the emotional support you may need or manipulate you when you are vulnerable. By cultivating self-love, you free yourself from the need for validation from the N-person, protecting your emotional well-being and ensuring you’re not dependent on their approval.
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Build a Strong Support System: No one fights a battle alone, especially not against a narcissist. Surround yourself with people who truly care for you, friends, family, mentors—who can offer advice, love, and support when needed. This support system is your armour.
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Admire Yourself: The narcissist constantly seeks admiration from others, but you should already have that admiration for yourself. Don’t let their need for praise make you question your own value. Celebrate your own achievements and remember your worth.
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Be Your Own King or Queen: Stand strong in your own identity. When you hold yourself as royalty, worthy of respect and love, the narcissist cannot make you feel entitled to their approval. You don’t need to seek permission to thrive or be happy.
Introducing the NarVaxin Formula: When you combine all these positive qualities—controlled anger, confidence, intelligence, self-love, strong relationships, admiration for yourself, and sovereignty—you create a powerful NarVaxin, a protective shield against narcissism.
The NarVaxin Formula: Controlled Anger + Unshakable Confidence + Smart Emotional Intelligence + Abundant Self-Love + Supportive Relationships + Self-Admiration + Sovereignty Over Your Life = NarVaxin
This NarVaxin works like a vaccination, providing you with immunity against the toxic influence of narcissism. By embracing these qualities, you ensure that you can live your life freely—without being drained by the N-person’s need for control, admiration, or manipulation. May be, you will need more doses of it. Try it
About the Author
Author | Chartered Accountant | Counselling Psychologist | Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT) | Internationally Certified Hypnotherapist | Master Coach- Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) | Life Coach and a Trainer | Relationship Coach | Internationally Certified Stress Management Consultant
Founder Partner and CEO of Brahmi Center for Counselling and Transformations (Member of International Association of Counsellors and Therapists)
Bhavana Ananth is a dynamic professional who has seamlessly transitioned from the world of finance as a Chartered Accountant (CA) to the realm of psychology. Armed with extensive education and training, including a Master's in Psychology degree and prestigious certifications in Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) from the UK, Master Coach Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and as an Internationally Certified Stress, Management Consultant, she brings a unique blend of expertise to her work.
She says that there is an inexplicable joy that she experiences while witnessing the transformative journey, of seeing individuals embrace their true selves and step into their power. Her core belief is “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” & “When you know Better, you do Better- Maya Angelou”.