After winning the recent Oscars 2023 the 2 genie-ous Indian women Guneet Monga and Kartiki Selena Gonsalves said “The future is us and the future is here”. I can’t agree less.
Two definite things that add pride to my soul are “Being a Woman” & “Being an Indian”. So, you can imagine what “Being an Indian woman” in today’s day & age can feel like.
Although, my career journey has been in IT for 20+ years now I still resonate with women from all walks of lives. We all have the same confusion, similar challenges, self-doubt, sacrifice saga & stories, irrespective of whether we work as engineers, doctors, homemakers, teachers, air hostesses, entrepreneur, hotel staff etc.
March being the #womenshistorymonth let’s look at “Why” & “Why not” of “WOW – Women of Will (or will not)”
Why ka Funda
Why should we “Be ourselves” – because being original has no replacement. It has no expiry date. In fact, it has you-niqueness!
Being authentically you will always set you in the ‘League of Differentiators’. People always recall what sets you apart from the crowd and that can be your USP.
So the funda is: Look for adjectives (like smart, clever, confident, etc.) or adverbs (like analytical, fast, hard-working, etc.) that people use commonly for you, like when they introduce or compliment or refer to you. Note these down to build your resume, profile & practice them consciously to strengthen your armour.
Why not ka Anaconda
You will always find people, reasons, excuses, disclaimers, factors convincing you “not” to do something. They may mean you good, probably want to protect you, perhaps intend to safeguard you, however, trust your gut first, ability next, willingness third.
So slay the Anaconda of “no” with your will-power that says “why not”. Here’s a liner with deep meaning from Dale Carnegie, “Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.”
Women of Will
Let your personality speak for you. If you are bold, be it; if you are quiet maintain it; if you are funny flaunt it; if you are stylish show it! Truly there is no “Magic formula” that works for all.
After all, the same dish that our grandmother who taught our mother who taught you tastes so different even when prepared with the exact ingredients & process. The reason is the “expertise behind it” and “pyaar (love) inside it” are indigenous.
Don’t shy away from learning or asking for help. In fact it’s not wrong if you even copy till you learn and then add your own touch to it. Just ensure you give due credit to the person who inspired you.
Be any type: Prototype, stereotype, isotype, monotype… its truly your comfort and call.
Women of will-not
Make a conscious choice of “will-not” list of things. If there are roles, actions, requirements, learnings that will not suit you; mould the courage to say “no”. Assertiveness is a beautiful yet strong version of “attitude”.
I will not work after 11 PM, I will not gossip or backstab, I will not support favouritism, I will not work for a year after child-birth, I will not endure sexual harassment, I will not encourage discrimination and so on. Make your stand clear. Let your actions speak for you. Set examples by setting boundaries. Trust me, it works and people will respect it.
Remember:
- It’s ok to fail.
- It’s perfectly alright to slow down.
- It’s victorious to take back even a silver medal.
- It’s fine if your idea wasn’t accepted.
- It’s worth taking a break.
Finally, as women all of us are conditioned to “Endure”, instead let’s “end-your” conditioning and emerge “Her-it-age” bearers who at every stage of her age is a “Her-o”.
About the Author
Vidya Prabhu works as Associate director, Global delivery leader for IBM Cloud at Kyndryl (spin-off from IBM). She also leads the women enterprise network for 1500+ women employees for the Chennai team. She is also a part of the University relations team for Chennai and TN and managed to reach out to 7000 students last year through this.
Vidya is a very active Breast cancer awareness ambassador and helps more than 300 women every year through this.