We all experience storms in our lives. You might be suffering through a health problem or maybe a financial hardship. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one or been impacted by a layoff at work. Some storms are bigger than others, but every one of us has experienced them in our lifetimes and we will experience them again.
Sometimes the storms are the result of bad decisions we made (or decisions we should have made), but other times they can be completely random. Regardless of the reason, storms are inevitable.
Can we really stop it?
Struggle and hardship is a natural part of life. We will experience heartache and sorrow. We will experience failure and the sting of rejection. We will experience pain and fear, loneliness and sorrow.
Many of us believe we can prevent storms from happening. We think to ourselves, “If I just worked a little harder,” or “If I just tried longer,” or “If I took that job,” or any number of other actions that we control, that we would be able to stop the storms from coming into our lives.
We invest a lot of energy to try and prevent the storms.
Granted, being disciplined and making good choices can reduce the storms in our lives but will never prevent them from crossing our path. When we try to convince ourselves that we can completely prevent storms from happening, we only add to the pain and frustration when they occur.
You don’t have to enjoy the storms when they arrive, but don’t spend time commiserating that you are suffering through a storm. It is wasted energy; it only adds to your stress and pain and hurts rather than helps you weather through it.
And weathering through it should be your focus.
Focus on the shore, not the storm
If you are in a boat on open water when a storm arrives, you don’t focus on the storm around you, the wind howling and the waves crashing against the boat. Instead, you focus on your destination. You push through the storm toward that destination.
You lock eyes on the shoreline and focus on advancing to it.
Similarly, when you are experiencing a storm in your life, determine what the goal is and focus on that. Your storm may not be brief. It might last weeks, months or even years, but keep the focus on your goal and making progress to it and not the wind and waves around you.
Contentment in the moment
Some of life’s storms may stay with us for long periods of time. Some of us are facing a lifetime struggle that will never go away. Learn to be content with life in the moment.
Find things that make you happy despite the storm. If you wait to be happy only after the storm is over, how long might that be? We need to learn to be able to find happiness in our lives regardless of the struggles going on.
Remind yourself the storm doesn’t last forever
Remind yourself that no matter how big or bad the storm is, most storms don’t last forever. When we are caught up in the moment, we can fall into the trap that this is all there is. This can have a demoralizing effect on us as we convince ourselves that the current storm we are in is all there is. That this struggle or challenge is our life. For some of us, unfortunately, we are facing a lifetime challenge, but for most we aren’t. And we need to remind ourselves of that fact. That the storm will pass.
Remember that you can’t enjoy the rainbow without first experiencing the storm.
About the Author
Jim Holder is an author and thought leader. He has over 30 years of leadership experience including Vice President Software Development and most recently Vice President IT for a global corporation. He has had the fortune to work in over 8 different countries and experienced life in an additional 3. He has coached hundreds of leaders and individuals throughout his career. You can follow him on LinkedIn and also signup for his newsletter through his website Rise & Guide at https://riseandguide.net.